Final blog entry

Hi all,

Marydoll here with the saddest of news.

On 30th January 2020 our beloved Grahame lost his fight.

Grahame would have wanted me to update his blog to let everyone know how things progressed since his last post. Unfortunately he could only manage to do a further 5 rounds of chemo before the side effects all became too much and the doctors advised that he stop. His PSA levels continued to rise and reached 798 after chemo #5.  Grahame had a further CT and bone scan in early January which showed extensive progression of his bone metastases and evidence of spread to his liver. His pain continued to increase, requiring additional medication at home which began with the support of his GP and the Hospice team. It became impossible to control his pain at home despite everyone's best efforts and it was at this point in time that Grahame finally asked for help with his pain.

Grahame was admitted to Ayrshire Hospice on Thursday 16 January with the belief that his pain could be stabilised within a 2-week period and he could return home. However, it became very apparent that his pain was extremely complex and it took a period of 10 days and numerous changes to his pain regime to get his first pain-free night. During this time, Grahame continued to be upbeat and smiley, always downplaying his pain to the fantastic medical team who were trying their hardest to make him more comfortable. Towards the end, Grahame required 24-hour syringe drivers to deliver continuous pain control, but still needed frequent top ups of additional morphine. On each occasion, he thanked the medical team for their help - always addressing them personally and full of smiles.

After the first week in the Hospice, his PSA went up to 1089 and then 1249 the week after. His Consultant gave him the news that there were absolutely no treatment options left, including the pre-trial drugs that Grahame was hoping to try. He took this news with strength and courage and was still very much hoping to get home, all the while saying (in typical Grahame style) that he felt like a 'fraud' and that other people needed the bed more.

Unfortunately Grahame deteriorated very quickly over the subsequent few days but was surrounded by all of his very loving family all of the way.

During Grahame's 2-week stay at the Hospice, all of us were treated with total dignity, respect and compassion. The care was truly exceptional. It was a true blessing for the family to be able to stay at the Hospice by Grahame's bedside. We were so lucky to have an adjoining lounge overlooking the beautiful gardens, as the staff quickly realised the size of the Garven family! We even managed a wee party night round his bed watching Rangers playing footie the night before he died.

To all the medical, nursing and voluntary staff at the fabulous Ayrshire Hospice - I shall be forever grateful. I know you loved his smile and allowed our family to be together during the most awful time.

I also have to say a massive thank you to his lovely Oncologist Dr Hilary Glen who gave him her valuable time and answered his numerous questions. She gave him hope as long as she could and was never put off by his wonderful inquisitive mind. He absolutely had to know every blood result, scan result and next treatment option!

My lovely hubby died with myself and his closest family showering him with kisses and cuddles 💙

The funeral will be held on Friday 14th February at 12 noon at Seamill Hydro Hotel, Seamill, Ayrshire, KA23 9ND.  There will be a collection for Ayrshire Hospice on the day.